Book

Distancing: How Great Leaders Reframe to Make Better Decisions

2025

Synopsis

Be yourself. Be fully present. Be in the moment. This is a message we hear constantly. While this may be beneficial some of the time, the biggest obstacle to making wiser decisions that actually drive lasting success is ourselves. Being fully immersed in our own limited point of view biases our decisions toward defending our previous actions and maintaining our self-image. We need to exit our me-here-and-now self and get an outside perspective that sees us and the situation we are in objectively. We need a coach.

This book shows us how to become our own coach by using a mental technique called psychological distancing. We do this in three ways: self-distancing, spatial distancing, and temporal distancing. First, we can be someone else, inhabiting another’s perspective. This activates the neutral observer’s outside point of view. Second, we can be somewhere else. We zoom out and see ourselves from afar, as just another person who is part of a larger context. Third, we can be sometime else, imagining that we are our future selves who are thinking back to what we wish we had done today. In each case, we can coach ourselves from this distanced perspective. The result is a powerful and immediate reframe of how we see ourselves, our situation, and what we should do.

Featuring compelling scientific research, business cases, and exercises, Distancing equips us with effective practical tools to reduce anxiety, see more clearly, and make better decisions for ourselves and for our organizations.

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